First, I just received my royalty check for A Demon In Bed and I am fucking astounded. I’m not sure how many copies sold yet, but I know how much money I’ve made, and it’s a lot more than I fucking expected. Holy shit! I really have to thank you, my readers and - dare I say? - fans.

Second… Dear Cocksucking Cowardly Canadian Who Thinks He’s Anonymous When Insulting Strangers On The Internet Via Their Blogs But Doesn’t Understand Things Like IP Numbers. Was that the best insult you could come up with? “ur ugly”? There’s so much better. For example: You must be the only teenager in third grade. Don’t get mad at me because your mother’s a whore. Try again when you have a set of balls.

Finally, 20 years ago, on May 20th, I woke up. In more than one sense, that is. It was my 18th birthday, and I finally understood that “The Truth” was a lie. For the uninformed, I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I had believed, for a number of years, that The End Was Coming. Not only was IT near, but it was so fucking near that my future as an adult was Paradise. Not anything so mundane as having a job to support yourself. Fuck no, it was Paradise. So nearly my whole childhood was spent, not thinking what I’d be when I grew up, but wondering whether or not God would let me in despite not being able to memorize the order of the books of the bible. Sounds fucked up, huh? IT WAS.

Currently, everyone is protesting Scientology. AS WELL THEY SHOULD. It is an evil organization bent on duping vulnerable and gullible idiots out of their money and sanity. However, let’s not forget they aren’t the only nutjobs. Mormons, JWs, Scientologists, Moonies, etc. - they are all batshit fucking crazy. Not because of all their silly rules against drinking coffee or getting blood transfusions, but because they are holding minds hostage. It took me NEARLY 20 years to let go of my JW beliefs. I had to take on each belief in turn and attack it in order to move on. Some may say I went too far, I say I may have further to go. But this much I know - every year, I get more of myself back.