When I was little, my father said to me “You don’t know what a friend is, Joel.” But he never bothered to tell me. I had to figure out friendship on my own. I have my own standard, and it is one I hold myself up to. It is, I admit, a very high standard. I have very few friends, but they are the best.

My wife is one. We have a togetherness of which others would be jealous. We each have our selfish moments, but we can forgive each other. We comfort each other when things are rough. I am truly blessed to have her both as a wife and as a friend.

My only other friend is a man I met in the Navy. He’s my hero, seriously. He was in Afghanistan quite recently, doing what such men do best. I know, without a moment’s hesitation, he would take a bullet for me. Likewise, I’ve been loyal to him throughout his lowest moments. He has a code of honor that is often out of place in today’s world, and as such has caused him some trouble. But, rather than abandon him for it, I respect him. Not in spite of it, but because of it. I’m honored to count him as a friend, and my wife and I consider him family.
Until recently, I had another friend. A friendship built on trust and camaraderie. I spent a lot of effort on this relationship. I comforted this person every time they caused themselves heartache, while gently trying to push them in a less painful direction. I listened to their rants - often at times inconvenient to me - about pointless bullshit, and bit my tongue when they wouldn’t do the same for me. I attempted to learn from them, as they were eager to teach, despite the feeling that much of the lesson is irrelevant. In turn, I attempted to impart my knowledge on them as well, but they resisted. But even so, I put up with it. I am willing to put more in than I get out. But then, recently, this “friend” asked me to do something for them and I was eager to help, but they were vague on details and - unsurprisingly - I made a mistake. Granted, a big one, and I’ve felt bad about it ever since, but they refused to shut the fuck up about it or accept any share of the blame themselves. To make matters worse, they took an old mistake that THEY had made and threw it in my face as if it was MY fault. Eventually, I had had enough, and told them so. Now, a real friend would say “Okay, I’m sorry for being so hard on you. Let’s try to move on.” Fuck, a real friend would say “It’s my fault and I’m being an ass.” But no, they said “Forget it.” and cut me from the project. After all that I’ve invested in the project, you cut me? And to be your friend, I have to put up with constant reminders of “my” mistake?

FUCK OFF!

And if I had known that you wanted to abuse my trust in order to LIE for the next 6 months, I would have told you to shove it up your ass.

Note that I’m not naming names. I have, after all, some class.